Oh What a Year! Part 5: Goodbye being single, Hello Married Life!

As mentioned in an earlier post, we are engaged!! Yep, we have succumbed to adult life!! That trip away (particularly Varkela and Pai) really strengthened our already strong relationship and made us realise that what we want in life are the simple things like sunshine, beautiful surroundings, fulfilling jobs that are not too stressful, and to always have time for and with each other! Some of my family members of our family had bets on that we would get engaged overseas, so for those of you who did also i say haha, NOPE! He was tricky about it and didnt want to be cliche. We arrived back on the 29th Jan. A week later on the 7th Feb we celebrated our 7th Anniversary together- from what I understand about 7's is that it is a powerful number things are often made or broken around the number 7, and I definitely believe it to be true. Daisy-Lady was also coming up to 7 years with her partner and sadly at that time they separated. Its as if after 7 years we start to really reevaluate our priorities and what we want in our life. OceanMan has never really liked talking about commitment- especially not putting labels on it. Of course he was always committed, common, 7 years! but just didnt really like to talk about marriage and the future, it was always just far away in the future. After my cousin got married, well my family really started to be on to him about 'putting a ring on it' which I sometimes got sucked into a wondered whether he ever would 'want' that (even though I wasn't sure I wanted it, I just wanted him to want to want to think of me as forever... how silly is that!) and other times brushed off because i know i dont need a silly ring for him to be committed to me- our culture is so backwards!!

Because he had always avoided those conversations as much as i thought it could happen that day I didnt really think it would because he just hadnt really given any indication that things were different and he was 'ready.' But it was an amazingly special day that is going to be hard to put into words. First we were so lucky with the weather, it was beautiful and sunny and warm. We were still in the blissful post-travel bubble- reality hadnt quite hit. I woke up to a beautiful REAL Lotus flower sitting on the table for me- Lotuses are my absolute favourite flower and obsession and have always wanted a real one. Turns out it was quite the effort to get it and hide it from me! We got dressed up and went for a buffet breakfast at our favourite hotel that we go to sometimes on special occasions which is overlooking the beach at Glenelg. Its pretty expensive so I thought it much be a special day for him to justify spending money we didn't have! We went to a wander down to Brighton where there is a bench that we used to sit on a look over the beach and chat when we first started dating. After a while down there we went home where we made sushi together a he got changed and said I might like to too. He "suited up" in a cool vest-suit hed found in an opshop, which he never does and I thought was a bit odd. I got changed too and we went for a mystery drive to the Botanic Gardens at Mt Lofty which is another of our favourite romantic spots that we used to often fo to when we first started dating and go on special occasions. We had a picnic lunch and lay out in the sun just discussing the coming year. After a while he got a bit jittery and fidgety. He put on some music with his ipod- my favourite (which he isnt a big fan of) Ray LaMontagne which was when things  started to seem more sus, then he got out some wine and my fav Gin and orange and proceeded then to pull out a ring, get on one knee and read out a poem that he had written in Varkela while was was doing my Reiki course. I bawled my eyes out like a little baby- its funny how you never know how you are going to react to a situation like that . The poem was beautiful and the ring! well the ring was extra special because he walked up and down the streets of Varkela trying to find something special and sentimental and that matched the style I liked which was similar to the antique rings of my mum and Oma's rings. On our last day when he thought he had exhausted his search he had found one that I loved and secretly went back to buy it and hide it the whole way back home. It is so beautiful. (although because it is silver and marquesite and wont last long enough to become an heirloom we decided to have it remade, incorporating aspects of my mums ring into it- I get it from the jewelers on wed so will be sure to update!) When he asked me amidst my tears I just kept asking in laughter "are you sure, are you sure?" of course I said YES! It was such an amazing and surreal day and we were on cloud 9 for the next few weeks! It really did bring us closer together because we had made that next step. It is all symbolic but it does feel like there is a slight psychological shift too that we have now commited to spend our lives together and wouldnt have it any other way. We love each other more than words can say and have a great communicative, trusting, warm and most of all FUN relationship and while I hate all the negative connotations that come with marriage and what it used to mean for women in terms of being 'owned' and of course how exclusive our society has made marriage, to mean between man and woman instead of between two people who love each other (no matter what gender they affiliate) we will make marriage mean what we want it to be and have fun with it- even if that means just embracing the commitment we have made to one another.


I didnt tell anyone that we got engaged that night, even though I was busting to! We decided to keep it special and between us before all the wedding crap began. We also didnt want to tell one parent before another so we decided to get them all together as it would be fun to make an announcement and keep them guessing for a while. Whats funny though it that most people thought we were pregnant, then they thought we must be moving away and only lastly did they think we were engaged!! It was so much fun to call up our family and ask them to meet us as a desert bar on a monday night and lie to them about why we were going there- each person something different! My mum had her suspicions, but everyone else was pretty suprised but overjoyed and over the moon. There were lots of tears and moist-eyes and we were able to cotinue our bliss with our family's support.


I have to admit that engagement party planning (especially without Mac) and wedding planning have not been quite as fun as that first initial week, and really we should have just had a surprise wedding at the engagement party, but the stress of moving house, trying to find new tenants, selling my car, settling in to a new tough job AND planning an engagement party (while only close family still ended up around 65 people) was a tough gig. Its hard working around what you would like a wedding to be about- in our case we want it as Eco, DIY, close-nit, earthy, with just close family, representing our individuality and love for each other- and NOT about the expectations of others. Our engagement party while stressful to plan (but giving us good practice) was a really fun day. We made it a Mad Hatters Tea Party Theme and collected lots of teapots and tea sets to decorate the hall. We invited only close family and everyone did their bit to contribute. My parents made the food, OM's mum and sister helped with the tea sets and organised and amazing dessert bar, his dad and dad's partner organised alcohol and decorations and some food and my best girlies (who were so patient with me) and I decorated the cake and hall. Updates on wedding planning will follow as there is not long to go now and im not very organised- any hints or tips are very welcomed!