Oh What a Year! Part 2; Goodbye cozy unit, Hello grown up house in the hills!

The next thing to say goodbye to was our house- yep, we finally did it! After getting the job we finally had better credentials to be accepted for somewhere, but man this was hard work! We went to soooo many house inspections and Daisy-lady started to get pretty fed up with hearing about our latest 'perfect-house' and then whatever happened to make it not so perfect! There were many we just didnt get, there was one we wanted to sign up to immediately, even though it was pretty far away and in a isolated location, and then we found out that the person was leaving because the house kept getting broken into, there was one we loved but it was being sold so there was no stability, there was another that had amazing views (and OceanMan fell in love with) but it was falling apart, had a dangerous driveway and had the most hideous wallpaper you have ever seen! We would have to do ALOT of work like painting and pulling up carpet to make it comfortable which I just didnt want to have to deal with- especially on a rental. and then there was OurPlace... We were started to get disillusioned that we just werent meant to move, that maybe we werent ready, maybe we should just appreciate the security we have, or maybe move into OceanMan's mum's place to save some money. The lease was quickly running out and we didnt want to have to break lease, or stay for another year.. time was ticking and real estate.com just wasnt providing! I found OurPlace at the same time as the one that was falling apart that he loved but I wasnt sold on. He didnt get to go to the inspection, but I did and it turned out to be the same agent that have us the chance on our first place which we ended staying in for three years! She got excited about us in this place immediately and hinted that if we wanted it it was ours. We filled out the forms for both places and were convinced we would be offered both and then which do we choose? One was big, unique, with amazing views and the other was in a great location but what OceanMan referred to as the 'Safe' option- I personally liked the safe option- especially if were going to stay for a while and have kids! Turns out we didnt even get the big unique house because we didnt offer more money (and turns out that tenant only lasted a month and did all these renovations without even asking permission!). We of course got the place where we knew the agent and were so excited (and apprehensive seeing as I was the only one who had seen it). But we did have to break the lease by around a few months so we arranged to not move in for about 6 weeks which gave the current tenant time because she was also breaking her lease, and us to find someone else so we werent up for heaps of fees. The agents (different to our original agent and the one who gave us this house, she is great) were terrible in assisting with finding new tenants- while it is up to the tenant to find new people and pay the costs, she didnt even come to the inspections- we had to do it all! It was pretty awkward for people to be walking around our house while we were standing there and not the agent! But anyway we found someone good and the fees ended up being very small because we had been there so long. So on the 15th July we moved into our new big hills place! Its 2-3 bedrooms, big kitchen, lounge, sep dining, laundry, 2nd toilet, new bathroom, BIG yard!! and OceanMan loves it!! Its in a great location, we can have pets and it just suits us so well.

The only issues have been... we just had to begin by getting rid of the mouse infestation in the kitchen/oven and now its all good. We also live right next to a school (who own it) and we have heard rumours that they want to bulldoze it and turn it into a basketball court asap and even though we stated on our application specifially that we wanted somewhere we could stay for a few years, they can do what they like so if we have to move in a year we will be devastated!!! So for the moment Im holding off from getting my chickens. The best part though is that my Nonna will finally be able to know that ive moved out of home without condemning me to hell for living in sin- or causing her extra stress that she doesnt need. Updates will follow!

Oh What a Year!! Part 1; Saying Goodbye to UNI and Hello to the Real World!

   This has been one MASSIVE year!! With this post hopefully you'll understand why I have been so absent! There have been lots and lots of goodbyes and many hellos and new beginnings, so id like to dedicate a post to these. We began the year on a plane entering Delhi where we were flabbergasted by so many emotions of being in such a foreign place- but enjoyed the adventure of course. While there we had to make some big decisions about the coming year as it was soon approaching and we were up in the air with so many things. We had to make decisions on pretty much everything- do I go back to uni? which degree to I finish? Where will OceanMan work? where will I work? Do we resign our lease on our tiny unit or find a bigger place? How will be afford a bigger place? Should be stay in SA or move to somewhere more tropical like Byron or the great ocean road? Should be start thinking about getting married yet? Are we ready for a baby yet?

Saying GOODBYE to UNI and HELLO to a new JOB:
We were getting back in to Aust in Feb, and uni goes back in march so I had to decide what to do about uni, and whether I could find a job that could double as a placement for my social work degree so that we could afford to pay back our trip, move house, upgrade our cars and plan for a family... stressful times!! I wasnt really enjoying the midwifery degree like I thought i would, i felt it went against so many of my ethics and values, and the degree itself was just a joke- no one gives a shit about you! the curriculum had so many flaws and no matter how many times people complained they were made to feel small and silly. The bullying culture in midwifery is unbelievable and there is no support for students- particularly when they need to debrief and I just couldnt continue in something so against what I believe to be right. This was pretty much made concrete after an amazing inspiring and mind blowing placement at the woman centered and empowering Pregnancy Advisory Centre where everything I wanted from a job in Social Work that combined truly women centered care was highlighted- that it could be achieved. After getting a nursing supervisor whom I had never met, who had strong personal prejudices against abortion and those who are pro choice, AND who had no idea about the requirements of midwifery students began to bully me (and I have never been bullied before in my life!) starting over the internet I was fed up! I was so thankful to the staff at my placement who supported me and stood by me and advocated for me, but I could not say the same for the uni staff who seem to enjoy this bullying culture! I missed the Social Work faculty so much and was fed up with bitchy, catty, manipulative, closed minded, uneducated, unethical and over medicalised views! The birth culture in Australia is just getting further and further away from the Midwifery I want to practice, and with a good friend- know is the most knowledgeable and experienced midwife I know currently on trial for the death of a baby that would have happened in a hospital, the fear and stakes are too high and I will just have to find another way to advocate for women without becoming a brainwashed robot.

So our trip away really was the start of a whole new life for us! The first thing I did was contact the social work department to say I was coming back to finish my last 2 topics, then midwifery to say I was deferring (who tried to be sickly sweet so I wouldnt leave because the drop out rate for the year was so excessive). Then I left my job at the organic store and embarked on an intense (and confidence rocking) few weeks of application writing!

OceanMan luckily came back to Aust with some steady work for the first term, but was still finding it difficult to nail down teaching jobs. During this time of me sitting at home writing applications all day and fretting about money we hunted for houses, and tried to decide whether we were going to stay (because we didnt really have anything stable here and it would be a good time to pick up and go), or move to Byron or Tourquay. We put in a couple of applications of houses, with no success. The retail market had just shot up and prices were rising, and more and more people were applying- without stable jobs it was going to be hard to get something. We kept changing our minds from definitely moving, to definitely staying. On a day when we had finally decided 'yep were moving' I got a call from a job I had applied for and James got a call for an interview- so we took it as a sign that with no money at all and a hate for too much unplanned change with reluctantly decided it was a sign that we should stay and try to make it work for a year while we save up!

So things started to fall into place! I said goodbye to uni, to my dreams of midwifery (for now at least), to my job in retail which I had been in since high school and hello to the real world! I got the job as a Youth Project Officer at a Mental Health organisastion where I facilitate and plan an 8 week program for youth in schools- AND I got to use it as my final placement so ive finally got a 'thing' and I can officially call myself a social worker!! This was a tough six months as everything was happening at once and like I said Im not great with too much change and disruption all at once. My job was more challenging and isolating that i had expected but i feel that I have really surpassed my own expectations of what I thought I could achieve and my own skills and abilities. It took alot of confidence rocking and self doubting to finally reach an understanding that actually I CAN do it, and I AM good at it, whether ive got concrete evidence or not. I just have to keep reminding myself this, and not let it become a struggle like it did this year. Ive also got a Social Work Student that i started supervising in Aug, and another work colleague who I both adore and are helping keep any self doubt at bay (for now at least)! I do miss my mid friends and being in the birth-community more actively, but things seem to be going where they should and my passion for working in a school environment and empowering adolescent girls just keeps growing. And after 12 years of school, 6.5 years of uni and 2.5 degrees, ive officially said goodbye to uni/school for the first time ever and it feels great!

Where do i start??!!

As you can see ive really neglected this little project over the past few months, but i think once i explain all my reasons, maybe ill be forgiven? So in a nutshell, I finished my most stressful year of study in the 6 years ive been at uni, we spontaneously planned and went on a 6 week trip to 3 countries, im job hunting, and house hunting, AND we got Engaged!!! now before you point the finger and exclaim about my usually fairly negative views of marriage let me explain....


but....First though i think our travels are more deserving of a post at this time:

As usual the partner and i (who i think ill start referring to as my Ocean Man, because he needs his own title, separate from me that better describes him), were musing (and complaining) about how much we were hating our lifestyle. Cramped into a small unit, constantly on the computer, and not really living. We have always talked about our dreams of travel, and i especially have dreamed of traveling through India since i was about 15. We always travel to the great ocean road, and do lots of camping, and loved our trips to new zealand and a remote island in Fiji, but we both knew that our life was being put on hold (jobs, house, kids, marriage) until we had had that amazing life changing experience that is world travel. We talked about how we could try to work for 6 months and leave in the middle of the year, and about how we could fit in our very much talked about Australia trip in the kombi, but we were sick of talking about it and just wanted to do it. We also worked out that going in the middle of the year and trying to leave a job might be difficult, but even more of a turning point, the weather in India is less than appealing at that time of year. And so, after asking to borrow some money to fund us, and telling my mum and nonna that we wouldnt be here for Christmas, we got everyone's blessing decided to leave in less than 6 weeks!

After much researching (and stress between exam study and work) we narrowed it down to Bali so i could visit the Bumi Sahet Birth Centre, Thailand and of course India. With not alot of time to decide on where and book, we left alot of it up to fate to assist us to book along the way. We left on the 16th of December, after many night up packing and organising and christmas dos, and with a few tears because i was in a bit of shock that this was all happening and i was leaving my family and saftey during my favourite time of year for a third world country!

Our first night in Kuta, Bali (out of necessity) was interesting, and as Australians we wished
to be of any other nationality there- Australians who visit Kuta really dont like to make us look good thats for sure, with the uniform of BinTang beater-shirts, boardies and a stubbie in hand- if youve been there you know what  i mean. So it was not-too-soon at all to move on to Ubud which i had had really quite high expectations for. We stayed in an amazing Eco Hut a few kms from the main town, and it was beautiful...but Ubud as a whole really want not what we had expected. It was quite a bit more expensive that we had thought, and surprisingly we found it difficult to find reasonably priced veg food- until of course Daisy-lady came to the rescue and recommended an amazingly cheap and delicious place that she had spent alot of her time when she had been in Ubud. I loved walking down the street and seeing wild (and huge) lotus flowers, and saying hello to the friendly locals. The dogs were pretty scary though and we had never been so glad we got our rabies shots as when we were walking down the street to the main town and a barking dog ran up with teeth baring and getting way to close for comfort to Ocean Man's knee!

One of the reasons id wanted to go to Ubud specifically was to visit the birth centre set up there called Bumi Sehat. Its really an  eye opener to go to a place like that and realise what we've got here. The centre was set up (from what i understand)  by an American midwife to provide a free service to the women because otherwise they have no other choice but to birth in the hospital, which incurs a fee; and if the fee is not paid, the baby will be kept by the hospital until it is paid. Additionally, unwanted interventions are high in the hospital so the birth centre provides a safe place for the women to give birth naturally. The only problems of course are trying to keep up the funding, getting enough  staff and enquipment to keep it running. We packed a whole lots of donations to give, and really enjoyed a tour of the centre which is complete with an acupuncture and natural therapies room, postnatal rooms for women to stay in, and an inbuilt spa decorated with pebbles- all of which can be used as birthing spaces when the centre is overcrowded with women birthing all at the same time. If you want to visit or donate check out their website.

Bali had been our first experience of Asia, and the challenges that comes with this travel like currency, food, language, weather and customs. so while it wasnt our favourite place out of the trip, we were able to appreciate it at the end of the trip probably more than we did while we were there, and were greatful for having gone there before India to prepare us for what was to come.

Next stop was Chiang Mai, Pai and Bangkok, Thailand. Probably our favourite part of the trip Thailand exceeded our expectations in many ways. We purposefully avoided the tourist hotspots like Phuket, other beach islands and decided to disappear into the hills. Thailand is a really easy place to travel in, which in someways makes me feel a little guilty about enjoying the 'easier-for-me' western influences, but nonetheless it was still an amazing, interesting and culturally diverse place that made us feel really peaceful and happy. Some of our favourite things about Thailand were the never-ending second hand bookshops filled with a really diverse and stimulating range of books, the very open and important place of Buddhism in the culture with beautiful temples on every corner and the ever present Monks walking the street in their bright orange clothes, but best of all the people were the most friendly and genuine we had met on our trip. People were always willing to lend a hand, or just have a chat and this to us is what travelling is about. You can only see so many monuments and buildings, but until you get to know the people you never really get to see a place.

At Daisy Lady's recommendation be did a cooking course at the Baan Thai cooking school, and it was really worthwhile. We got to meet some other tourists, learn about thai ingredients and best of all we cooked and ate some delicious dinner. I made my favourites, Pad Thai and Paw Paw Salad and a green curry, and OceanMan made a red curry, some noodles and spring rolls. We didnt have such a great massage though ....

All id wanted was to enjoy a few great experiences with natural health/medicine during the trip like massage, yoga and meditation. Unfortunately the Thai massage experience was not quite up there, and left us bruised and sore. Poor OceanMan hadnt ever had a massage before, and with DaisyLady becoming the greatest Remedial Massage Therapist i know, our hopes were high to try a few things to report back to her about. We at least had some funny stories! We were just so glad that we'd opted for the 30mins instead of the full hour! most painful $3 we ever spent.

We spend christmas in Pai up in the hills, and while the bus ride was 5 hours of never ending twists and elbow-turns, my dose of Slippery Elm, Novomin, Ginger and acupressure bracelets seem to ward of any unwanted sickness, making the trip much more enjoyable. Pai has a similar, but more more oranic and genuine feel to Byron Bay or Nimbin. It is a hidden little alternative town filled with wandering travellers, Families, Rastas, Hippies, musicians Nomads, Bohemians, and psychedelia from all around the world who come to find a peaceful and natural place to chill out, and try to locally (and often accidentally) produced mood enhancers. The building are quaint, the food (and smoothies) are amazing, the people are friendly and the surroundings are breathtaking.

We stayed with the most beautiful couple at the Bueng Pai Farm about a km from the main street. They had built the whole place themselves, complete with hammocks, private bamboo huts, a library, organic fruit trees, all situated around a lake that they offered fishing in (only if you put the fish back), and had the most delicious Thai food- our christmas day consisted of fresh Pawpaw, jasmin tea, Bueng Pai special friend rice and Banana and chocolate pancakes, and a beautiful bannana leaf wrapped gift which all helped to ease the christmas homesickness. Orn and Run who manage and own the farm were just so lovely, i was brought to tears after talking with the one day about their health issues but you would never know what they have been though with their light hearted jokes, laughter and radiating warmth that they give out to their guest through their pure joy of running the farm! After a bad batch of rice for dinner one night Orn even went out of her way to look after us, and bring us tea and bananas, extra toilet paper and charcoal tablets when we got sick. And they're dogs (the only friendly ones we met on the trip) always greeted us when we came back in the evenings. This couple has been through so much which we found out accidently through our conversations with them, and yet are still the most happy and generous couple. If you even make it to Pai make sure you pay them a visit and enjoy their amazing place, with their degrading health you never know how long theylll be able to keep it going, Their smiles and best food it town, and pure beauty of what theyve hand built is by far one of the most memorable parts of our trip!

We also hired  ruby red the mopehead to get around Pai because it really is the only way to get around! And it didnt help OceanMan's desire to get one back home. It was so fun, and helped to bring us even closer because i was the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to slow down, or watch out for elephants or whatever, and had to make sure i was holding  on tight! We loved out little Ruby Red, so were sad when we had to leave and give it up.

Bangkok was our next stop and we were a little worried about how much we'd enjoy it after we'd had many people telling us to not stay long, or not even bother with the place, but actually we really enjoyed it! it was a fun place to be. After a few gos on the TukTuks i started to really enjoy the trips, and even the haggling was getting easier. We went to see a movie in 3D- where we had to stand and sing the national anthem before it began, we tried some pretty funky tasting Thai pizza, we checked out the oversized and over stocked shopping malls, learned all about silk and architecture at Thompson's house, we wandered around the Kao San, taking in every sight, sound and smell (and haggling abilities), and enjoyed the absolute peace that ive never felt before, in some of the most beautiful buddhist temples. We'd really wanted to check out the medical museum, but after a short but rocky boat ride to get there, it turned out it was closed for a public holiday.

Some of my favourite things about Thailand, apart from its natural beauty (and forgetting about the choking pollution and heartbreaking poverty) were the friendly people who would go out of their way of lend a hand, but would always do it with a genuine smile and handshake, something i would hope that i would also do and wish for from all, which i really felt might have come from the strong buddhist influence which i also loved being a part of. I loved being barefoot and being expected to take shoes off before entering a house or room- so sensible that i wish we could implement here, and i loved the prayer-like gesture that says so much in a respectful way that i loved so much more than a handshake, but i cant explain why. It was really like being part of a big friendly community that I wish we could have here- but I guess we'll just have to return to get it back.

So on New Years eve, while everyone was getting ready to party and celebrate the new year and I was wishing to either stay and continue soaking in the amazing heat and festivities, or go home and celebrate christmas with our families who were boasting over skype about the cheeses and nonna's food they were enjoying, we were boarding a plane, nervous and tired, on our way to Delhi, India!

Now India and on finding a house and work will need a post to itself i think- hopefully i can remember it all!

The Don

We quite regularly catch up with one of my oldest and closest friends (who really feels more like my other brother), which generally revolves around food and movies. He is the kind of person who just knows really random things, and is always keeping us up to date with whatever movies or tv shows are good, plus he pretty much knows every good restaurant in town- especially if they serve duck. We like to stick to themes when we are together, so we'll watch all vampire movies, or all zombie movies or all end of the world movies, all in one go and if we're eating indian it has to be all indian. Its really fun. He is an absolutely amazing cook, and ive been asking for a while if he can give me some tips, so he came over a few months ago to help me make something Japanese because he is going to be going on exchange there next year. He made it seem so simple, but with my skills every time ive tried to reproduce it (which is actually quite a few) it really has not been the same.

Being vegetarians in our house he modified it to suit, but we made what he called a 'Tofu Don' which was sushi rice, topped with an egg omelet, seaweed (yummmm!!) and bok choy, with our own made teryaki sauce. It was amazing!! I had been asking him to come over and help me make sushi, but he said that because it was dinner time he thought this would be more suitable, and us having that brother-sister like relationship i shrugged him off, disbelieving that anything could be better than sushi.... i was wrong! We then made this soup thing; i cant remember what its called, and it was one of the most delicious meals we've had in a long time. I was so proud, and we had so much fun in our tiny little kitchen. He definitely keeps me in line because i take short cuts, and also im italian so pretty much every meal begins with a bita of olive-a oil, and he had to try to reprogramme that out of me because "this is not how you cook asian food." Next time hopefully will be indian!

Oh what a night!

For my birthday, Daisy-lady bought me tickets to my most favourite other ginger; Clare Bowditch! And let me tell you, this amazing, beautiful and exceptionally talented women never lets me down! Its the fourth time ive seen Clare live, and i think that while her albums are fabulous, she is most definitely better live, and she always makes the time and effort to not only say hello and sign things for her fans, but to literally engage in individual conversations with everyone- plus she is so genuine and warm and honestly seems like she is really enjoying everyone's company.

After a scary moment when out in the freezing cold Daisylady thought she had left the tickets on the kitchen table at home, because we had been gas bagging so much that we hadn't remembered to pick them up, which she had; but for once, its lucky that in situations like this everything is computerised and all we needed was id! We watched the supporting act which were a local act who werent too bad, and intently watched the crowd pour in. I really love people watching, and in big crowds often wish that i could be invisible just so i can watch people intently without looking creepy, but nonetheless i really enjoy just sitting and looking around. I was quite looking forward to seeing Clare's new line up perform together, firstly because i love the Feeding Set so much that i didnt know if i could love her with anyone else, and also because her sound has changed so much since my favourite albums Autumn Bone, and particularly What Was Left. But of course she is not one to disappoint, and i was pleasantly surprised by how much i loved her three backup singers (Aluka), particularly their very synchronised dance moves, and really harmonious voices, plus they still played some of her old stuff so that kept me happy. What makes Clare so unique is her ability to really engage a crowd. In between songs she is always cracking a joke, often poking fun at herself, but she also appears to really really love what she does, and to really have fun which means her band also look like they're having a ball, which really rubs off on us in the crowd. She is so comfortable with herself that you just feel so comfortable there with her, like you have known her forever, its excellent!

Ive always loved how Clare's music is able to really create a mood, but especially it has this really unique ability to tell a beautiful story. Her new album is quite different though, its alot more peppy and upbeat, but what i love about it so much is that she has been able to capture all of the things i believe about current consumer-led society, and in particular its effects on young girls. The CD, appropriately named Modern Day Addiction is all about societies obsession with being thin, beautiful and donning the latest gear (whatever that may be). She admits to finding gossip mags ridiculously addictive despite hating everything about them- in exactly the same way i do, and beautifully depicts the pain that so many (particularly women) get so bogged down in the unreachable expectations, that are affecting those younger and young. Clare is the perfect role model and Im so glad she has used her music to spread these great messages. We need more like her! She is Gorgeous, smart, talented, genuine, super friendly, an amazing mum, able to speak her mind (including to the Priminister) and still have a good belly laugh (plus she is a major homebirth advocate!). More girls need to be looking up to Clare rather than Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian or any of those ridiculous celebrities polluting our media!

One of my favourite moments was when she sang a gorgeous love song to her husband (and drummer/producer) Marty Brown, and stated that she had never sung to him on stage in the 13 years theyd been playing together. She then went on to tell the crowd about how when she first started she used to think that she would know when she had 'made it' when she got to play at the Adelaide Gov, so she felt so proud to be playing that show, so it made the crowd feel even more special to be there. There is just something about musicians that you love, and if they can make you feel special they totally have you in the palm of their hand, and there is nothing you can do about it. Its just like that with Clare, because she always knows how to make you feel good, but luckily she is not the type to exploit.

After the show Daisy-Lady and i went off and sat down for a while to wait for the huge line to meet Clare died down a bit. We bumped into a quite fun (and fairly drunk) guy who wanted to chat. We all gushed about how much we loved Clare, and how amazing the show was, and he told us about how girls shouldnt be worried about image and should be more like Clare- really comfortable and confident in herself. It was great fun, he even wanted to get down on his knees and propose to her- even though her husband was right there.

After waiting, poor Clare, who had only had around 3 hours sleep was still as bubbly and friendly as ever came over and thanked us for waiting so long, and for coming to the show... Clare Bowditch was thanking us!? we took a photo for the Guy we were talking to because he didnt have a camera, and then started chatting with Clare. I cant tell you how amazingly awesome she is to chat to. She just sends off such a great warm and fuzzy vibe! Daisy Lady told Clare that she had been part of the inspiration for me starting Midwifery and she stopped signing my cd and her whole face lit up. She was so excited and told me to keep going, that it was amazing what i was doing because i can make such a difference. I was telling her how hard it was and how much it was weighing heavy on my soul so im looking for other options, and she just looked at me and said "I really do understand." She was saying how horrified she is about the state of birth today and then started telling me her birth story of her twins and how she had been unable to have them at home, and how disappointed she was in the doctors, particularly with the birth of the second twin. If this wasnt the highlight of my life, i dont know what is! Talking birth with Clare Bowditch! Whoa! She was amazing, and was very interested in some of the court cases coming up around homebirth, which i thought was fantastic.


in between this quite heavy discussion, on my cd she was able to write:

"Katherine, keep it up? Youre a wonder. Clare Bowditch xoxoxoxo"

Poor Daisy Lady didnt get much of a word in, but its thanks to her that we got to have such an awesome night together!

After a chat we finally got around to taking some pictures and my favourite moment was when i said, "Clare, do you mind if i give you a kiss on the cheek for the photo" and she looked at me and said "you know, you are the first person to actually ask and not just do all night, thanks! you absolutely can" We all look a bit tired, but it was a really precious moment.

Wedding of the year

After two years of preparation and waiting, the wedding of the year has been and gone, and i have now officially been in a wedding!  It was a stunning day, and everything went to plan, but best of all my cousin and her now husband had a great day!



The moment she had been waiting for for two years!

I have never had to smile for so long, wear so much make up and hairspray or been so exhausted in my whole life! I stayed with the bride and other bridesmaids the night before so we could wake up early and have breakfast and get all our hair and make up done together so we didnt get a lot of sleep to start with. It was pretty strange having my hair combed, pulled, twirled and sprayed (my hair hasnt been the same since) and then the makeup artist had to thin-lizzy me stating that the product should be my new friend because i was soooo white, especially in comparison to the other girls. I had refused to get a tan because apart from being against my values, i felt that id look silly with red hair, a red dress and orange skin, and i was glad i didnt, but i definitely felt the pressure because the other girls were so beautifully bronzed!

Spot the no-tan!

Our dresses were gorgeous, and the bride (and groom) looked stunning. The bride's friend who made our dresses did such a great job! and I was so thankfull that not only did it fit well, but it was a style that suited me- although i did pop the hook and eye clasp at the back when i sneezed oops. Much credit is given to the Bride for being able to stand not only the weight of her dress, but doing it in heels! I couldnt go past an hour without need to take my shoes off, and she went all day, although she couldnt move particularly far or without assistance, but she did an excellent job being the perfect bride.She also did such a great job in making everything work well and look great together. The red and white theme looked excellent, with the roses, the centre-pieces and just all of the attention to detail and time and effort that had been put in to make the day look so amazing.





 It was a fun day, and after the hours of photos were over we could really let our hair down and dance the night away. Although my high heels didnt last more than the church service before my feet needed to be freed. I was quite grateful that i had this opportunity which, apart from being there for my cousin, i really got to see weddings from a perspective that i probably never would have. I am quite surprised (although i probably shouldnt be) by how much businesses exploit weddings, and in particular, the insecurities brides, but it was interesting to see this first hand, because knowledge is power and i certainly wont be giving into any of that manipulation or intimidation, and im proud to say that my cousin was fairly cluey in getting a good deal. I was also pretty surprised on the day to see how much of the day is dedicated to photos! Unfortunately the particular photographer wasnt really interested in taking 'in the moment' shots, and preferred staged pics, but they got some great shots, especially when we went down to one of the city pubs and they got photos taken on the median strip in the middle of the road. I guess i hadnt really realised that a third of the day is dedicated to photos, (although our family is pretty big and it takes a while to get us together). It was pretty fun driving around in the old stylish cars, and again, i hadnt realised how much people turn and stare (even though im normally one of those who likes to see the dresses), people even wave and call out, and you certainly get that celebrity feeling, like youre in a movie- its quite odd, not bad odd, but just like your in someone else's life for a day all in the name of a wedding,

This whole experience was a bit of a whirlwind and despite feeling fairly inadequate for the role it turned out to be invaluable learning, and in putting my sociology hat on i can see the world's expectations of weddings and marriage alot more clearly- whether i agree with them or not. Wedding cost alot of money, there is no doubting that, its expected that they be stylish and perfect in every way, but at the end of the day i have been reassured in my long held belief that at $100 or $100,000 its not the 12 hour day, or the dress or the tans that count, its still the love between two people and the celebrating of this love with others that matters. With the two years of waiting over, and now the wedding past (but not forgotten) i am left with a warm and fuzzy feeling that despite always being quite the marriage cynic, maybe i have come out with a better outlook on weddings because ive been placed in environments way out of my comfort and had to question myself and my beliefs on a number of occasions because i was so different from those around me, which i wasnt really used to. I was comforted in knowing (no matter how many times i debated in my head) that you dont have to follow the trends or the expectations that come with the title of 'wedding;' and I even came to realise that maybe one day (hopefully not too far away) i might actually want to celebrate the love i share with a certain special person (much to the elation of my parents I'm sure)

 Embarrassing moment of the day: ThePartner had to pull me aside and remind me of how short my dress was because every time i went to pick up my cousins extremely heavy train in the church during my MOH duties, i was flashing everyone my bright green knickers, and didnt think the priest or my nonna would be too happy if they saw that! I was trying so hard to keep my legs together, but clearly this girl is not made for heels OR short dresses! Hopefully they edit that out of the video.

ThePartner reminding me to keep my knickers to myself



Highlight of the night: I caught the bouquet! haha, yep thats right, after positioning myself front centre, and focusing totally on the prize (I still dont know who was standing next to me) as the flowers started to go toward my right, i never left them out of my sight and then they were mine! alas, im a little nervous to watch the video. i didnt actually realise how much i even wanted to catch it until i was in the moment. Its certainly going to be a good laugh- and ThePartner still hasn't heard the end of it from my family =)





getting my craft on

I love being crafty, and i particularly love to Sew! I often make my own clothes, and love making things for other people- at least when i get some time. So when my first birth/homebirth baby I assisted was born, I decided he needed a very special Birth-day present, and not one that could be bought, so i went searching for ideas. At first i convinced myself that i could never make a quilt, partly because i make up everything on the spot, but mostly because im so trial and error and not patient enough to make shapes fit in together well enough to look good- but i decided to give it a go anyway, and i was really really proud and happy with how it came out. Now i just have to remember what i did so i can make some more for the next special babies coming along!

 



Birthday Bliss

Well, im officially a year older (well, actually year and one month because i havent been able to blog in so long) but i had a great birthday this year, and really enjoyed my four days of celebrations! To me birthdays are all about spending time with the people you love, eating copious amounts of cake and party food, and reflecting how much ive grown and learned over the past year. Alot has happened during my upgrade from 23 to 24, but ive certainly picked up alot of lessons, and and generally got to know myself a bit better.

I decided this year that i wanted to have a picnic, and with my cousin's big wedding so close, and the amount of family shindigs ive had to attend i wanted my birthday to be really low key and casual but also reflecting my need to get back to nature and back to the simple joys in life that ive been intensely craving over the past few months- and i wanted to make a time in which all of my friends that ive abandoned due to my crazy work/study schedule could come and we could just hang out. So i chose my most favourite place, quite hidden from the world, but green and full of life... although i had forgotten that there were no public toilets there so everyone had to forgo the Chai tea and hold on haha, but it was beautiful nonetheless, and i had friends come in and out all day, and we even had a surprise guest- a mum and baby koala join the party.

Being the good Italian girl that i am I was worried that we wouldn't have enough food so I spent the previous two days cooking- we ended up with more food than we knew what to do with, but at least no one went hungry. There was tree climbing, chatting, debating, eating, drinking and even weaving going on, and I had a ball.

I had asked no one bring presents, just themselves and a plate to share if they could as i wanted it to be more about connecting with the most treasured people in my life. I hate that in our society special event always mean forking out ridiculous amounts of money, often beyond what the giver can afford just to be appropriate, and often with no thought or real meaning behind it. I really despise gift registrys and hate that so many people expect money! I could never say to a friend, particularly one that doesnt have a lot of money that for my special occasion (and with all the family events lately, im not really just talking about birthdays) that ive already got everything i need so i dont want any present please, i want money!-How is that special? how about nothing? or a donation toward a cause? or just to say anything within your budget would be appreciated? something homemade perhaps? its the (societal) expectation that bugs me. 

My most favourite gift in life is a hand made card with a beautiful message, or a gift in which the giver has clearly put a lot of thought into it, and feels that its just right for the receiver- something that wouldn't have cost the earth, but was carefully chosen and put together with love. I try to do this with every gift i give- i love gift giving, particularly when its not expected, and i always think its so important to show someone how special they are by giving something with that has soul to it- that may not even be for any 'occasion' per say, but just because, not through any monetary or materialistic way. So i was very very lucky and not only did i get the pleasure of these great people's time, but they surprised me with cards with beautiful messages of my friends expressing the importance of our friendship, small ornaments in which my givers had felt there was a message just for me, some amazing things that had been hidden away since our trip to Byron, tickets to see my most favourite other Ginger (Clare) live, and homemade cakes, and even homemade jam which i have loved on my pancakes almost daily! So im so grateful that I was able to be reminded to how much im loved in such a special way.

It was a very fun weekend, with dinner out on the friday, the picnic on the saturday (my actual birthday), time just with ThePartner just to chill on the sunday, dinner out with my Daisy-Lady on the sun night and family over on the monday.

On the Sunday ThePartner and I were going to go for our annual buffet breakfast, but decided instead to save a bit of money and just have a really chilled out day, spending some much needed time just to two of us. It was one of the best days i think ive had all year. We went down south to the beach, and walked around on the rocks overlooking the water. If there were any place where i could totally switch off and enter a meditative state, this would be the place. I was really able to switch off, and reflect on all that is going on, and what it is im moving toward. Just the smells of the clean sea air are enough to make you feel quite delirious. It was excellent! Although, ThePartner was not at all enthused with my choice of shoes (birks of course) which were inhibiting a fast enough walk over the rocks, so he insisted i wear his Volleys, which actually worked out quite well for me as i raced him to the top. We ended up falling asleep in the car overlooking the ocean, and its probably the most peace ive felt in a long time- and we definitely really needed to have that together without any other external demands or expectations on us. With we could do that every weekend!

Baa baa red sheep

I did something that i never ever do.... i conformed to the masses!  not only did I sign my life away (the next 24 months) to a phone company, but i got an iphone!! *gasp*

yep, I still cant believe it. On one had im so excited and sneak in any excuse to pull it out and fiddle (particularly because i have no idea how to use it yet), but on the other i feel a bit guilty that ive brushed off my past rantings and views of never wanting to ever contribute to mass international greed and consumerism by funding these multinational corporations, preferring to protest these short lived fads by holding on to older technology and refusing to upgrade, and stay on prepaid so to never have to sign any contract whereby a company can basically own you..... but i did!

Part of the reason i feel a bit guilty is because of a really great conversation i had with a 10 year old:

A few months ago on EarthHour night i was babysitting my favourite little 10 year old in which i discussed with him the importance of earth hour and how we should turn off all the lights in the house- including the tv in which in beloved football was playing and because its important to be conscious of our impacts on the earth. While we compromised to leave the football on, and turned off everything else he ended up being distracted by our quite deep conversation about the need to do our own little bit for the earth. During this conversation he took one look at my phone and was totally horrified, asking why i didnt have an iphone because they are the coolest, and the only phone one should own because they have cool games... and of course the notoriety particularly in the eyes of a year 5. I explained to him that this all has to do with earth hour too, because we have to be conscious about what we buy, and where they go once we get bored of them... what will happen when the earth's resources run out? where does plastic go if it never biodegrades? do you know who makes iphones, and that they are often children in poor countries? did he know what slave labour was? This little man is one bright spark and was able to engage in this conversation with such passion and intrigue- i was very proud of him.

Alas, he did end up telling his mum that i had told him that we were ruining the world and we were all going to die because of it, but he said it with a twinkle in his eye and i had warned his parents of the conversation we had had, and being very cool and open minded parents they were greatful of the discussion (and proud that he was so intrigued) - and despite the jokes and pretending he didnt care, when i asked what the final football score was, he had been so engrossed in conversation that he hadnt even looked!

So.... with this in mind, i feel a little bit not myself with my new toy, but i must admit that its really fun and has come in very handy. Im pretty clumsy and fairly nervous when it comes to expensive things so i made sure that i bought the most heavy duty case and cover- despite the sales guy at JB HIFI reminding me several times that it was for a tradesman and was i sure its what i wanted. Ive added my usual dangley keys and bells to it to make it my own, and downloaded apps like Hipstamatic which i love, so now i have a camera everywhere i go, and ThePartner doesnt have to rush off and pay for a computer when we're out to bid on ebay. Its worked out handy, and i can save money on phone bills hopefully!. While im still not totally comfortable with having signed a contract, at least by the time its finished my phone will be totally outdated and ill have to start all over again!